Die to Self

I continue to be grateful to the church I serve, for allowing me a 4-month Sabbatical in 2017.  This week, I looked back at my journal from that time.  On one of the early days of my time away from the church, searching for a passage to be a theme verse for the Sabbatical, I stopped at Matthew 10:38, “Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.”

Jesus here, and in other passages, talks about this idea of dying to self.  At our church, the three foundational pillars of ministry philosophy are safe space, to be made new, and sent into the world.  The “safe” pillar is our commitment to being a welcoming community that loves people “as they are.”  We say, “All are welcome.” 

The “sent” pillar is our commitment to carrying the good news of salvation in Jesus Christ to a lost and hurting world.  When we think of the term ‘evangelical,’ we do not have in mind how you vote or what your politics are.  We mean evangelistic people, people who go out into the world motivated to help people they meet become followers of Jesus. 

The middle pillar, “be made new,” is where I lived during the Sabbatical.  It is what I think is happening in Matthew 10:38 when Jesus commends losing one’s life.  One of the things I have heard from people a lot is this question.  Can I follow Jesus and still be my “whole self?”  The answer from Jesus is “No, you can’t.”  Jesus promises to love us as we are, but when we follow Him, we do not remain as we are.  We don’t come to Jesus hoping to be our “full selves.”  When we come to Jesus and follow Jesus, we die to self.

I have relearned the depths of this concept over and over in my own life as a Christ-follower.  As a thoughtless college student whose brash words hurt others, I had to repent and apologize to those I hurt.  That repentance included dying to self.  When I was single, badly wanting to be married, I had to learn to be content in Christ.  In my marriage as significant challenges have arisen, both my wife and I have had to be humble before God and each other and this included dying to self.  In the privilege of leading a church, HillSong, that is full of strong leaders who will not sycophantically bow to the lead pastor’s will, I have to constantly die to self. 

In this past Sunday’s sermon, I talked about Daniel who refused to let his Babylonian overseers dictate his identity.  In their hands, he did not allow himself to be unmade.  I hope that as I unfolded the story of Daniel’s boldness, it was not lost that at a deeper level, Daniel and each one of us is in fact clay to be molded, just not the world’s hands.  We are in God’s hands and God stretches us, pounds us, hardens us, and shapes us.  Mixing metaphors, we also realize God prunes us, a painful process, but for our good.  Sometimes we don’t understand the creator’s work, but we are the creatures.  We submit to His will not because it is easy but because it is good.  There are no self-made men or women in the Kingdom of Heaven, only God-made men and God-made women. 

Are you ready for this kind of life, one lived in absolute submission to the will of God?  Are we prepared to answer the call to be disciples of Jesus?  Read Paul’s letters.  The disciple life is full of joy and wonder.  But, read all the letters, including 2 Timothy.  The disciple life includes weary days, uncertain seasons, and disciples sometimes have long nights.  No, we don’t say to Jesus, “Take me as I am.”  We say, “You, Jesus, are the Lord, the Savior, the Master.  Here I am.  Make me what you will.  Show me who you will create me to be.”

Almost 4 months removed from Sabbatical, I am grateful I went back and looked at the Sabbatical journal, which directed me back to Jesus’ words in Matthew 10.  My prayer now is the same as it was back in May.  Lord, here I am.  Make me your New Creation.  I hold this prayer up not just for me, but for anyone who would follow Jesus as a part of the church I lead.